Perfectly inconsistent

Embarrassingly, it's been about a year and a half since I last wrote anything here.  So much has happened, good and bad, anticipated and unexpected.  Just when you think life levels out and there isn't a crisis on the horizon, one appears and you either lose your mind or you adjust, adapt, and overcome.  That's been our life for five years now.

It's pleasantly boring now.  We have come through the storms stronger and wiser.  We have unloaded useless and destructive baggage from our lives, both people and possessions.  We own a house, a sweet, lovely little house.  Perfect for us.  Small, but less for me to clean.  My girls are grown.  One will be 28 and is a nurse.  Where did those years go?  My sweet little Faff is now a nurse.  Slings and arrows have bounced off us both, hearts broken and respect sought, but we're good now.  My baby, Ali, is 13 and taller than I am.  Hysterically funny, smart, the most loving, giving creature God put breath into.

My sweet husband.  The warrior.  He's come through hell's fires and stood on the other side and laughed at the enemy with his hand in God's.  It's been a rough road.  Losing a leg.  Blindness.  What man am I?  Questions, worries, doubts, joy, laughter, tears, prayers.  Had we known that a scratch on the leg from a blackberry bush would leave him fighting for his life in ICU, two bouts of sepsis, Charcot foot.....amputation.....had we known the outcome would we have said, "Yes, we will carry this and whatever else you give us?"  If we had the chance?  I can't answer for him.  Myself, I wouldn't trade the wisdom gained for anything in the world.

Some days are still a struggle.  Others are such a joy to go through.  I am learning to be in the moment, rather than looking days and months ahead.  Taking the time to sit down and just listen to life going on around me.  Mercifully, my planner has fewer and fewer doctor appointments in it.  I have had to learn to make the time to do things with my family that aren't planned around doctor appointments.  We are learning to live a new way of life, and it's good.  It isn't perfect, but it's perfectly good, for us.

Memorial Day 2016

This last week, the week leading up to Memorial Day, of all weeks he could have visited, Obama toured Japan and made his usual tasteless and degrading remarks about the United States and how we have conducted ourselves throughout our history in the world's stage. If you are a Bible-believing Christian, you know that the United States does not appear to be mentioned in the book of Revelation. It is a foregone conclusion that the shining nation that led the world for centuries now is tarnished and the light is dimmed. This is happening according to God's own word. I see people every single day worrying and whining themselves into a lather about restoring the US to what it once was, and that simply cannot and will not happen. The Bible foretold, thousands of years ago, what must happen, and it is happening, to the letter. I'm sorry if this harshes your mellow, but read your Bible. It's all there. America has been a wonderful, beautiful country and has blessed countless millions of people, both those that have lived here in America, and those around the world.  We are right to celebrate and commemorate the military men and women that have fought and died to keep us free.  But America, as a nation, is quickly disintegrating and I’m sorry for this to be our reality, but there is nothing we can do to save it.  Only those of us blessed enough to call ourselves Americans can be saved.  Why is our beloved country quickly disappearing from the world as we knew it?

God never intended us to fall in love with our country. He wished for us all to fall in love with HIM and then watch what goodness and blessing would follow. Sadly, the gift of free will led many to seek the gloss and glimmer of this world and its leader, the enemy, and we now see before us every day what that has given to us as a nation:

Hedonism and sexual promiscuity. Watch one night of television or streaming shows online and sex is usually the storyline with other situations tossed in to keep a show from being nothing more than 60 minutes of pure porn.  What was designed by God to allow us to procreate and enjoy the intimacy of the marital bed (I know, I sound like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady and yes, I laughed at her myself back in the day but now I understand.  I’m more like her than I’m like the person that laughed at her all those years ago and I apologize to no one for that.  I’m proud of it.) is now used as a tool in story lines where, really, there is no story line for it, it’s just thrown in as an afterthought.  Teenage promiscuity, marital infidelity, spousal abuse, the marital bed and the institution of marriage are the true victims here, of an influence by the darkness of this world to cheapen a gift from God to us. We lead the world in televised smut.  Congrats.

Fifty-seven million babies ripped apart in the womb to be discarded into garbage bags and off to the incinerator, all in the name of "choice", another word that allows women to escape the responsibility of keeping their legs closed and escaping the biblical desire of men and women honoring the marital bed and honoring sex as a gift from Him for marriage. Margaret Sanger, a disgusting woman who embraced the teachings of eugenics, or “sanitizing” the races--eliminating “dirty” races, such as blacks and Jews--formed Planned Parenthood (along with supporters in her beliefs such as Katharine Hepburn’s parents, strident Marxists).  Planned Parenthood is the American equivalent of Molech, the god of child sacrifice. 

Men lusting after men, and women trading natural affections for men towards other women. These acts are an abomination in the eyes of God, yet they insist that He made them this way. Why would He make you in such a way that is clearly stated is an abomination in His own eyes? God does NOT contradict Himself, yet they insist that He does, that they would live a life pleasing to themselves and not Him. Homosexuality is a deception created by the master of all lies, Satan.  In every state in the country now same-sex marriage is allowed.  The LGBTQ screamers, a MINISCULE portion of our society, has destroyed livelihoods and families with their rabid insistence that we accept their lifestyle choices and if you dare to stand up to them and assert your faith, you’re hate-filled, evil, intolerant, mean-spirited, and unholy because doesn’t your God tell us that we need to love one another?  We can love one another all day long.  Doesn’t mean I HAVE to agree with or approve of your choices.

This group of less than 1% of the population that live under a spirit of deception are doing all they can in their power to try and manipulate the rest of us into accepting and living with THEIR choice. We are living under THEIR threat of destroying livelihoods, families, any form of decency, and sometimes, lives, all so that THEY can live a life in direct opposition to God's word. They are the ones living in direct opposition to God's word, yet we are the ones punished as I set out above unless we acquiesce to THEIR demands. It doesn't matter that we ALL have First Amendment rights under our Constitution. THEY are the only ones allowed to speak their "truth" and if we speak ours, we are arrested, jailed, bullied, and destroyed for standing up for ours. The tolerance is there but only if we drink THEIR Kool-Aid and believe their lies.

Our police forces, nationwide, are now living in a state of heightened awareness, understanding that securing the badge to their uniform could mean they end up in a body bag at the end of the day. Our first responders live with a target on their backs and/or heads, with thugs and trash roaming our streets abusing anyone and everyone they can, destroying all that lies in their sight, with the assurance that should they be caught and incarcerated, the liberal mainstream media will come to their rescue and eviscerate the police that arrested them. The general public is now not only in danger from criminals, we are now equally in danger of the press that devotedly stand in the corner of the very criminals that are being strengthened by the deafening silence that flows from our Department of Justice and the White House. When the president has a bestie that once bombed a police station, whose only regret was that more police weren't killed, do we really expect him to stand in front of a television camera to decry the brutality of the criminal element in this nation? For years our borders have been slowly and quietly dissolved, allowing a world-wide criminal element to pour into our land, a criminal element that makes the current residential scum on our streets look like extras from Sesame Street. I promise you, the deafening silence you hear now is only getting louder and louder. You're now on your own when it comes to protecting you and yours and the police are restrained from doing anything to help you.  And if you do protect yourself and your family by exercising your Second Amendment rights, you are faced with lawsuits filed by the family members of the deceased thug or you face arrest and jail by a zealous, ignorant police chief looking to slobber all over the behinds of the thugs, a police chief standing in front of the cameras of the liberal media wanting to usher in social justice according to our Department of Justice and the White House. 

Bibles were banished from school rooms long ago. The Pledge of Allegiance has quietly been erased from morning school room routines, displays of the Ten Commandments have been destroyed or removed, many times by court order. Even crude handmade crosses, designed to remember loved ones that died on our nation’s roads, are under attack from athiest organizations. No semblance of the cross exists anywhere in this nation without living under attack by athiests, a group of people that spend obscene amounts of money and time fighting against something they don't believe in and don't believe exists. The irony is suffocating. Yet they are given more air time and understanding than Christians who simply observe the cross as a symbol of love and obedience. 

Our military, the finest in the world, has been pared down, sliced up, ridiculed, downsized, and this administration is dying to turn our military forces over to the United Nations to be UN Peace Keepers.  This current administration, with intense hatred for our men and women in uniform, has stretched our forces thinner than frog skin, some of our soldiers serving 6-7 tours of the worldwide theater of combat, year after year.  They come home, loaded to the hair follicles with PTSD, hoping to come home to intact families and thriving bases.  Instead, they come home to families splintered because they were gone for years to keep you and I safe, and military bases either shut down or the sites of mass shootings by Muslim infiltrators.  They come home to find a Veterans’ Administration that is woefully incapable caring for our soldiers in a meaningful, expeditious way, and a head of the VA remarking that waiting for a VA doctor or medical decision is no worse than waiting for a ride at Disneyland.  We are sending billions of dollars to Saudi Arabia to renovate Muslim mosques but we have tens of thousands of homeless vets.  Veteran suicides are at an epidemic high.  We are celebrating the remembrance of our men and women this weekend, and from the way things look from my seat, the battles here at home with PTSD, a dismissive administration, a VA in shambles, and the staggering amount of suicides are FAR greater than the battles they face overseas.  At least with the battles around the world, the enemy has a face, and it is, by and large, Islam.  Back home, the face of the enemy is their own government, and sometimes that is a FAR worse enemy to battle than the one you leave home to fight.

Bible believing Christians know that there is no greater love in the scriptures than the love of God for his precious Israel.  The Jews have, from the beginning, been His chosen people.  Israel became a nation again in 1948 and until that date, the land that Israel once occupied was nothing but arid desert.  Once Israel officially became a recognized nation, the desert began blooming and Israel has become the richest country in the world when it comes to scientific innovation, farming, food, education, and medicine.  Some of the most brilliant minds in the world hail from Israel and today, aside from Jordan and King Abdullah, Israel is our biggest ally in a part of the world that houses the largest concentration of the hatred that is Islam.  This current administration has effectively told Israel to go play with itself, the Obama administration’s hatred of Israel so palpable you can almost taste it.  Can’t figure out why our country is being hammered with weather disaster after natural disaster after financial disaster after cultural disaster after……..you know.  It goes on and on. 

Read Genesis 12:2-3.  ² “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.      ³ I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Those were the words of God to Abraham.  If you read them carefully you will see His intent.  Israel has indeed been blessed when it comes to prosperity and innovation and creativity.  Israel has most definitely blessed many around the world.   Those that wish to see her destruction make no bones about raining bombs and attacks down on her and they are dealt with harshly.  Those of us (the United States) that have chosen to take a giant dump on Israel by whatever means the dump has taken are feeling God’s wrath for the decisions of this administration.  God doesn’t mess around when it comes to Israel.  This is another reason America’s stature in the world is quickly waning.  Our leaders have chosen, quite brazenly, to turn against the only true ally we have ever known in that region of the world.  America is disappearing quickly because the protective hand of God has been removed and it’s open feeding season on our once-prolific and great country. 

This weekend, instead of throwing hot dogs and hamburgers on the grill and getting stupid drunk because you can, how about spending time in prayer.  Deep, repentant, reflective, heartfelt prayer.   The scriptures are clear on our future.  The United States does not appear in prophecy.  We are currently neck-deep in prophecy and it is with excited anticipation that believers watch the daily events of the world to see how much closer we are to seeing God’s prophetic word be fulfilled.  It is the rest of the country that doesn’t believe in either God or His word that are left wallowing in anxiety over what is going on and wondering what can be done to salvage this nation. 

In a word:  Nothing.

Nothing but PRAY.  Pray for those running for office, whether you like them or not.  Our country needs someone that isn’t going to ram socialism down our throats , but rather, someone that will put OUR needs and OUR best interests first, protect the citizens that vote him into office, rather than protecting the PAC that lines his pockets or the biggest wallet that offers money for favors.  Pray that our next leader will honor our military men and women by treating them with the respect and honor they are due.  They are doing the jobs most would never make any attempt to do.  Pray that we have a leader that respects God’s word and respects God’s will for each of us.  Pray that we have a leader that will uphold the Constitution that favors us ALL as Americans, and not just a few of the loudest and most obnoxious voices that drown out all the rest to make sure that THEIR agenda is heard and to hell with what everyone else wants. 

Pray that ALL of our new leaders will set an example by praying themselves and will not be afraid to let the world see him or her praying.  This is the weekend for showing appreciation to our military that have fought and died so that we DO have the right to vote for the leader or leaders we want, not the leaders that we “vote” for as we’re led by machine gun to polling places to “vote”.

The United States began with the purest of intentions and with the blessing of God.  He gave this to us.  Our rights came not from kings or governments, but from Him.  We have, through our free will, again given to us by God, crapped on everything that was handed to us.  The VERY least we owe Him is repentant prayer, asking His forgiveness and wisdom for what we CAN do with the time remaining.  THAT is what this somber, reflective weekend should be used for.  Nothing wrong with hot dogs, hamburgers, and barbeques, as long as we pray and give thanks to the one from whom all blessings flow, and as long as we pray and give thanks to those that died so we CAN enjoy those blessings given to us.

Happy Memorial Day and to all our military personnel, past and present, thank you is not enough, but it is all I have.  THANK YOU.

Living Loud

The louder you live your faith, the harder the slams from the world are going to be. This last five or six days have truly been hell. I won't go into details but your children--when a heart is broken, yours shatters. When the man you love is in pain and in tears, you die 1,000 deaths wishing you could take the pain from him. When the enemy steals your peace through the ONE thing he knows will send you right over the edge into panic, he will do whatever it takes to see to it you are shattered. When He uses you for the Kingdom and he KNOWS you will weather the storm to His glory, no matter HOW bad the blows come at you, the reward of peace is all that much sweeter. I refuse to be broken unless I am sweetly broken by His mercy and grace. I will not allow the slings and arrows of the enemy to pierce my heart because I know that there is a heart stronger than mine that beats eternally and can sustain me through the darkest of days. I HAVE to believe that eternity is precious enough to fight through the world's darkness and when I hang full on to that belief, the noise of the fight dims in the whisper of peace.

I am YOURS, Father. My children are YOURS. My husband is YOURS. Use us as You will.

August 1, 2012

Two years ago today our lives were changed forever. A simple scratch on the leg resulted in the words from the trauma surgeon, "If I do nothing now you'll be dead in an hour." God never lets full facts slam you in the face. He allows them to be absorbed in little dribbles and drips. Nearly two years later, Mike finally is able to absorb the reality that he suffered from not only flesh eating bacteria, but post operative respiratory failure, renal failure, and septic shock. "I not only lost everything on my left leg down to the bone, I quit breathing, my kidneys shut down, and I had infection coursing through my body. Can you believe that I survived?" Yes, I can because greater is He who is in you than he that is in the world."

God has been our sustainer, our healer, our provider, our ever-present peace, our strength, our hope, our grace, our mercy, and our loving Father. During times of faith being sorely tested, Mike has drawn on the love of Jesus. "He hung on that cross for ME. If he can soldier through mockery, being spit on, humiliated, beaten, whipped to within an inch of his life, and then taking those spikes for ME on Calvary's cross, I can get through this."

Some day days have been nearly impossible to get through. He lost 100 lbs. in 90 days from fluid loss alone. You simply cannot comprehend the amount of fluid in our bodies until you experience something like this. Four PICC lines, 12 weeks of daily antibiotic drips, four trips to the Emergency Room, bombarding his body with prescription medications from Cipro and other antibiotics, Atavan, Gabapentin, Lasix, prescription strength potassium, Nabumatone, Vicodin, Dilaudid, Morphine, along with his normal Humalog and Lantus for his diabetes. These meds have taken a toll on his body, despite the fact that they saved him and have kept him going. Now, two years later, he has another surgery looming to remove a cataract on his right eye, and seeing if everything comes together for the bka, or "below the knee amputation" that ironically will give him a quality of life he cannot have now. His days consist of incredible pain, swarms of nerve pain on the skin graft that feel like yellow jackets attacking his leg. The casting attempt last year killed nerves in his foot and the removal of the tendon on the top of his foot that was found to be infected have left him with a "drop foot", or inability to control how the foot lands down when walking. He cannot hike, play basketball, go to the beach and walk in the sand, go camping, hunting, nothing, for fear of the skin graft tearing and introducing almost certain infection once again. We have had close calls over the past year when the skin graft had spots wear through to meat but the knowledge I gained from the nurses at Wound Care enabled us to heal them and continue his care at home.

There are days of tears, days of questions, and days of quiet satisfaction and gratitude when we see victories, no matter how big or small, we accept them all. I've been wife, lover, doctor, nurse, physical therapist, ass kicker, tissue provider, hugger, bottle washer, meal maker, housekeeper, transportation specialist, auto mechanic, domestic goddess, and medical/social/personal secretary, keeping a myriad of doctors and appointments made and kept, paperwork done, an unbelievable amount of medical supplies out of our own pockets as we have watched income dwindle. If I had a dollar for every time he broke down and said to me, "You didn't sign up for this. This isn't fair to you and not fair to Alison," I'd be sipping drinks on a beach somewhere on a vacation we've never ever been able to take. That's when I remind him of the words of his grandfather: "You take it all, put it on the floor in a pile, and call it life." We have grown closer than most couples ever grow, and then there are those days when the nicest thing we can say to each other is, "Shut up."

Alison has learned the ugly reality of life, that life isn't a sitcom where issues are solved in 22 minutes not counting commercial breaks, and sometimes, you hear "No." a LOT. She's been such an incredible blessing, handling a sick dad and the life that comes with it with grace and dignity that belies her age and would shame many adults, and then there are days when she's had enough. Toss puberty into the mix ("I hate that I'm growing hair down THERE! I look like a NEANDERTHAL!") and you have an intelligent, emotional, grown-up-faster-than-most-kids young lady that has weathered storms with dignity and can still make mom and dad laugh when we need a prescription dose of silly. On one hand, she gets to be around mom and dad 24/7. Not many kids get to build those kinds of relationships with their parents. And on the other hand, when an event or trip at church comes up, I NEVER volunteer to help because she needs to just get away and be a kid and not see my face as the reminder of what home is like.

Above all else, through good and bad, happy and sad, victory and disappointment, we have seen the hand of God, unmistakably and miraculously, reaching out, steadying the ship, bringing sun when we needed to feel warmth, and bringing rain to wash away fear and tears. Above all else, we strive to glorify Him and give Him the praise due for all He's done and the lives that have been touched by us stripping away any and all pretense and bringing so uncountable many along with us on this journey. I have lost friends because of our transparency and gained friends because of our transparency. Many, many "friends" of Mike's have disappeared, unable or unwilling to truly be what a friend is: faithful. Life is ugly at times and some can't handle ugly, and then there are those precious few that have stayed by his side, making him laugh his way through a phone call. Our church has blessed our socks off with mentors and pastors that have walked alongside Mike and just LISTENED. Men are not the strong silent type all the time. They need someone to listen just like women do. Thank God for the men that have stayed at his side. I feel sorry for those that have walked way. True colors are not pretty. Heidi Fordham, the rudder on the ship named Lori, has been an incredible blessing to me, my own personal Santa, sister in Christ, and best friend. People like this are like yeast in bread: They raise you up when you are languishing on the bottom of the bread pan and allow you to be light and golden. My sweet Katherine Skowronek has reminded me time and again that each day is new, don't dwell on the past, true family sticks beside you and loves you no matter what, and that I cannot let those that turn their backs on us overshadow those that are still standing with us.

Time to shut up and get on with the day. Thank you all so much for loving us and walking us through some very, very painful and difficult days. As we watch the world spiral out of control, the song on my heart is "amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me." God is very real and very much alive and Jesus, as promised, has never left of forsaken us. Thank you, God bless you all, and Maranatha!

Swim, little fish!

Took Alison swimming today at the Kroc Center. There is NOTHING delicate about this child. She is just a big girl, not fat, but she's filled out her bathing suit and doesn't look like a 10 year old. She's mistaken for 13-14 year olds all the time. And she's not the least bit delicate about jumping in the pool. No jumping in feet first...no....she BELLY FLOPS every single stinking time. She's conquering her fears one by one and today it was time to conquer her fear of deep water and jumping off the diving board. Which she did. Only somehow she jumped off the side of the diving board and--I wasn't in the area to watch--she somehow smacked her face on the cement edge of the pool and now has a beautiful puffy, red torn up inside upper lip. Didn't phase her a bit. A little bit of ice and some attention from the lifeguards and BELLY FLOP! right back into the deep end. She's a fish in water, totally at home in it. Three story water slide? Bring it on (in fact, I've done it and it's REALLY fun). Somersaults, flips, handstands, you name it she'll do it no matter how deep. She loves the Wibbit, an in-water obstacle course. Ungainly and not ladylike, she throws herself into it. Nothing stops her.

My girls, they inspire me. They challenge how I think, how I approach life, how I face down my own fears. Katherine is facing something head-on right now, something very painful. I am amazed by her grace and fortitude, her ability to love and forgive and move on. When I want to go ninja on someone, she reminds me this person is already hurting and a prisoner of their own ignorance. Don't you go down that same road, mom. When I see life through my own jaded viewfinder, Alison points out a fact or reality I wasn't seeing and changes my approach. I thought God gave me children to enrich THEIR lives. It's been quite the opposite. Where I differ from my own mother is I try to be teachable and humble enough to recognize when I need to change my view or thoughts on something, instead of hanging onto my pride and arrogance and thinking my way is the ONLY way.

Girls, my precious girls, Katherine and Alison, it is such a privilege to be your mother, to learn from you, to walk with you, to love you, and to be loved by you in return. The lessons I learn and growth I gain are your gifts to me.

When I grow up I want to be.......

So many times I look at my life and wonder, "Is this what I was meant to do? or "Is this what I was meant to be?"

I never found a bigger or more interesting "calling", I never wanted to graduate high school and blaze trails and be the "top" of my field, whatever field that was.  My desires were simple.  To work, to love, to be loved, and be happy. 

I never wanted to be one of those women with multiple children under age five and two in diapers at the same time and do nothing but talk to little people all day long.  A mother wasn't something I aspired to be, in fact, when I was in my late teens/early 20's I swore up and down I wasn't going to have kids, but when the time came, God peeled back a layer of whatever was covering my heart and I discovered profound love for two beautiful girls I have been blessed to hear call me "mom".   In the days of gestation, I rubbed my belly and talked to them, telling them both how much I loved them, that I couldn't wait to meet them and be their mommy.  Seeing each one for the first time was breathtaking and I felt like God opened a little window for me to see just a taste of heaven.  I cannot imagine my life without either one and in His infinite wisdom, God did not give me two children close in age, rather they're 14 1/2 years apart.  I have been able to enjoy each girl on her own and though they love one another dearly and deeply, each one has been raised like an only child and that's given me a unique time with both of them, a time to relish watching them grow and learn and become the interesting, captivating, deep, funny, intelligent young lady both of them are. 

I had a learning disability we later on learned was ADD, a condition that is the bane of some people's existences, and a blessing to others.  I can multitask like a boss, but cannot focus for any great length of time on anything.  I was the kid that whose report cards read, "Needs to pay attention in class."  All my life I told myself I was stupid, and as I've aged and gleaned wisdom from age and life, He peeled back another layer of whatever was covering my heart and I discovered I'm REALLY quite intelligent and wise and capable.  I cannot read a book and put anything together without copious amounts of confusion and rereading over and over and then just shelving the book, but I can, with eyes and hands and effort, figure pretty much ANYTHING out and do very well.  I am QUITE smart, I just didn't need academia's approval or the world's approval and a degree to hang on the wall.  I have my own approval and my degree from the University of Hard Knocks is in satisfaction with how I truly am and acceptance of how my brain works.

I never went through my childhood thinking, "When I grow up I want to be a calligrapher."  Unless you were born in the middle ages, I think we all pretty much wanted to grow up to be flight attendants, nurses, doctors, astronauts, writers, teachers, or some other profession that paid well and people looked up to.  I was 26 when a thought dropped into my lap and after a trip to Michaels and the purchase of a book and a pen set, in 13 years and over 1,700 weddings and events and commissioned pieces, I took an old fashioned art form, in Greek, the word kallos graphe literally mean "beautiful writing", and turned it into something that has enabled me to work with clients from the United Kingdom to Hong Kong, clients in every single state in the country, to Michael Jordan's 50th birthday to the Bat Mitzvah of the daughter of the former head of HBO, to countless weddings and birthdays and anniversaries and family gatherings, to the heartfelt words of a father to a daughter, a husband to a wife, a wife to her children, people trust me with words that come from their heart and I put those words to paper, glass, wood, canvas, stethoscopes, envelopes, and every other medium.  I've penned lyrics of songs for a widow that thinks of her husband every time she passes by the picture frame.  I've penned a love letter from a father to his daughter.  I have worked with clients I wished I could adopt or could adopt ME, and I've encountered brides so self-absorbed and shallow I wanted to call their fiances and go, "Pssst!  It's called the Witness Protection Program--let's go!  They can hide you!"  It's crazy, creative, colorful, exhausting, gratifying and horrifying, but it's a life I've been blessed to create with a gift from the giver of gifts, God himself.  I didn't think when I was in Mrs. Storey's Offices Practices class that one day I'd ditch the typewriter and attorneys for ink well and nib and parchment paper, but I wouldn't trade this for the world.

I watched my friends and girls I knew date man after man after man and go out on a seemingly endless string of dates with different guys, and I was always the one that sat home on Saturday nights crocheting afghans with intermittent boys and men placed here and there.  I didn't realize I gave off a vibe that told men to "get lost" but apparently when I found myself at Denver International Airport on September 25, 2001 to see the man that would be my husband for the first time in 20 years, that vibe disappeared and so did my longing for those endless strings of dates as a tentative man I hadn't seen since 1981 walked towards me and I can honestly say I've been loved passionately and deeply and should he go Home before I do, I would be quite content never standing beside another man because I have had the love that all women hope for but sadly, some never find, and it was all in His time, not mine. 

I come from a smallish family that has its idiosyncracies and flaws and as time has marched on, those idiosyncracies and flaws have grown in size and depth and I have had to shut doors on some and some have shut the door on me.  There are times it bothers me, and other times I'm relieved not to have the drama around me, but I have learned to surround myself in my life with those that will love me regardless of whatever I've done in the past or whatever expectation I've not lived up to in someone else's eyes.   I have the family I wish to have, a husband and two beautiful daughters, and a son-in-law, and should God decide to open doors and bring more to the table, that's fine, but I have learned to find contentment among those I do have and love deeply.

I have friends from all of my walks of life and like a garden of flowers, each one is different and beautiful and strong and tender and blooms at times different from others' blooming, but put them all together and when I find myself walking through that garden, I get to enjoy the sweet fragrance of kindness, compassion, talents, abilities, gifts, shortcomings, longcomings, and blessings.  He has shown me how to eliminate the weeds of jealousy and envy that would choke out the beauty and how to nurture and feed the flowers that make my life rich and colorful and beautiful.  Some bloom in the spring, like bulbs, and some bloom in the fall, like dahlias, and some bloom all year long, but each "flower" is precious and special to me and I love the garden He has given me.

When I ask myself, "Is this what I was meant to do? or "Is this what I was meant to be?", I have to honestly answer, "Yes."  To pursue any thing else would be to upset the applecart that God has wheeled into my world.  To pine after something He doesn't intend for me to have would be to unfairly take my appreciation and attention from what He HAS given me, and given to me abundantly and fully.  If we take our eyes off what we think we "want" and focus instead on what we "have" and thank Him from whom all blessings flow, you will probably find you're exactly where He wanted you all along and doing what He wanted you to do all along.  It's your calling.  It's your life.  It's His gift.

Hey you! You're important.

Before I had kids, friends of mine with kids would tell me how agonizing it was when they'd get the parents to babysit and they'd go out to dinner with their spouse, and all they did was stare at the ice melting in their water glasses and talk about..........the kids.

I can hereby confirm that once I became a parent, yes, you do, in fact, do just that.

Fast forward several years and now I'm the mother of a 24 year old and an almost ten year old.  I often say "with age comes wisdom."  It's so true and that is the ONE thing I think I love most about getting older.  The wisdom I glean from every day life.

Today, my daughter went to a water park with her youth group from church.  She has quite an unusual life--she's home schooled.  That means we are around each other 24/7.  Not only are she and I around each other 24/7, her father is with us 24/7 as well.  It does require some getting used to and at times, I can say without hesitation that going to the grocery store is the only time I may find peace and quiet.  In the middle of a busy grocery store.  There may be a dozen kids screaming for mom, but none of them are mine and I have developed quite the talent for tuning out other people's kids.

Today, the house is quiet.  Phineas and Pherb isn't on, no Disney shows are on.  Art paper and pens aren't strung all over the living room floor.  The television is off, there is no hounding to get on the computer or go swimming, there is no showing me the newest drawing, no telling me about her latest book, no whining about anything.  It is quiet.  I love my daughters, both of them.  Endlessly I love them.  But I also deeply appreciate quiet "me" time.  Today, after I dropped her off, I came home and relished the quiet.  I knew the things I needed to accomplish and I am getting to them one at a time, not rushing through them, but thoughtfully accomplishing what needs accomplishing and tossing out the clutter that jams up my life with busyness.  I am getting REALLY good at tossing out the needless and unnecessary.  I am thinking complete thoughts, I am enjoying time in the bathroom with no one pounding on the door that she has "to pee like yesterday, c'mon mom, hurry up!"  I can put clean clothes on her bed and not hear a huff of exasperation.  No indignant comments.  But also missing are the hugs and the "I love you so much, mom".  You take the good with the bad and put it all on the floor in a pile and you call it life.

So, today, I've cleaned a bit, cleaned out piles of things that needed my attention.  I hit a wall earlier this week, shutting off all social media and shutting my own self up from commenting on anything, from watching news, from listening to that horrid man in the People's House say ANYTHING.  I have shut it all out.  Yesterday, out of the blue, I dropped down on the bed and slept three hours, waking only to make dinner, clean up the kitchen, make the bed with new sheets, catch the season finale of 24, and then I slept for 12 more hours.  Obviously I needed the sleep.  I feel more rested and clear today than I've felt for a long, long time.  I refuse to drain myself dry anymore of energy, clarity, peace.  Let the world survive on the "news as it happens" lifestyle.  I have too many flowers to stop and smell.  

I'm nearing the end of my to-do list, reading the last few magazines I need to get through and discard.  I have envelopes needing done, and they'll get done.  I have one and a half hours before Ms. Thing will need to be picked up.  I hope she's had a fun day, being a kid, laughing, splashing, making friends, just having a good old time.  I purposely don't volunteer to help out on any of these events because she needs to be away from mom and dad and just have fun being a kid on her own.  It always makes her appreciate time with us so much more and we appreciate being around that much more after she's been away  for a while.  I am relishing the quiet, the slower pace, the need to just breathe and enjoy some peace.  That will all change once she hits the door and has to tell me all about her adventures on the water slide and who said what to whom and where's my cat? as she scoops Gilbert up in her arms to spend some time with him as she winds down.  

Today, I have to honestly say I've not thought a lot about her being gone.  There's nothing wrong with that.  Somehow in our society we have become guilt-ridden if we don't saturate ourselves every single second with our children.  We have forced ourselves to forget that at one time we were individuals and had lives and had uninterrupted thoughts and spoke on complete sentences.  Then children arrived and we have been told that unless you make them the center of your universe and breathe every cell of them into your lungs you're an awful parent and don't deserve to have them.  I have dropped the ball plenty of times as a mom and my daughters know they are loved, but they are not the center of my universe.  God is.  Then my husband.  Then my daughters.  Each is important, but at the end of my life, I will not have to stand and give account of my life to either my husband or my daughters.  It is God I will answer to.  It is God I seek for direction and answers.  If I don't have Him at the center, wheel is lopsided and I head in directions I don't want to go.

I am grateful for this day away from Ali and I'm sure she's grateful for the day away from us.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Quit letting the world tell you that you're the next Hitler if you don't feel guilty about them not being with you 24/7.  You are the one your children see as the example-setters in their lives.  Show them that they, by themselves, individually, are important.  You have to take care of yourself, recharge your battery, fill your soul back up with oxygen and life.  You can be nothing to anyone else if you aren't taking care of being something for you.  Take care of YOU because few others will.

It's Monday morning and your president is STILL breaking the law

Good morning, America.

After a good night's sleep and a refreshed mind, I wake to start my day and find the following BEAUTIFUL rant by Judge Jeanine Pirro:

http://video.foxnews.com/v/3672753276001/judge-jeanine-president-needs-to-fix-border-mess-he-created/#sp=show-clips

It is DEPLORABLE and DISGUSTING what this man has done.  He's put out the call to all of South America and Mexico to send us your kids (after all, who can turn away the face of a child?) and we'll cram them into the nooks and crannies of our country, put them on the welfare rolls (classic Cloward and Piven) and provide for their every need.  He doesn't care that they have sexually transmitted diseases, lice, scabies, tuberculosis, foot and mouth disease, his goal all his life has been to knock the United States off its pedestal and make it no better than a third world country in Africa.  He wants Americans living in the same corrugated tin and cardboard shacks that residents in third world countries live in, while he and that wookie he's married to jet off to vacay after vacay in the name of relaxation, because being an asshole is SUCH exhausting work.

Yes, I just called the president of the United States an asshole.  VERY mild considering what I could call him.

He has broken the law over and over.  Eric Holder has broken the law time and time again.  So has Valerie Jarrett.  The Three Amigos of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are finally being seen for what they truly are and what we have known the are for a long, long time:  criminals.  And like the Clintons, there is a string of dead bodies behind them, the bodies of those that spoke out or raised their voices in opposition to their actions.  We HAVE to find our balls as a nation and begin speaking out without fearing reprisal.  Too many men and women have died in the name of defending our country for these criminals to destroy the gift of America and freedom that has been given to us.  This is a nation of rights given to us by God Himself.  If you are too lazy or ignorant to fight for those rights, then you deserve whatever befalls you as this nation dries up and blows away.  Those of us with voices loud and clear and intentions strong as iron won't go down without a fight.  But the first place we begin this fight is on our knees.

It is absolutely imperative that America falls to her knees in prayer and humility and apology to Him for the 56 million babies aborted in the name of freedom and choice.  We need to seek forgiveness for the celebration of the gay and lesbian lifestyle choices that threaten to divide our nation along the lines of sexual choice.  And it IS a choice, being gay.  You were NOT born that way, despite what Lady Gaga wants you to believe.

Read the words in Leviticus and Romans, the words divinely imparted from God to men, His thoughts and words about a man burning with lust for another man, or a woman exchanging natural affections for men with another woman.  In God's own words those choices are an ABOMINATION.  Why then, if God is without imperfection or error, would He create a man to burn with lust for another man or a woman to exchange her natural affection for another man with a woman if in His own words those are an ABOMINATION in his eyes?  God does not contradict himself.  

We need to seek forgiveness for promoting sex outside of marriage, for being such a disposable society that children are murdered and tossed into dumpsters and ditches with no afterthought or remorse.  We as a nation spend millions of dollars and countless hours watching the spectacular pimping by Kris Jenner of her family in the name of making millions, yet we ridicule or even ban group prayer in public places and fight to remove crosses from roadsides because athiests object over their very visible existence.

America, we are TOTALLY and COMPLETELY screwed up.  With each instance of ignoring Israel, or turning our backs on her by this administration, we are setting America up for disaster and failure of biblical proportions.  As Anne Graham Lotz has said, and I paraphrase, "God is a gentleman.  If He's asked to leave he will not overstay His welcome or overstep his bounds.  He will leave."

But then what are our first words crying out when disaster hits because He's removed his hand of protection from us?  "God, please!  Come help us!"  

America, you don't get it both ways.  You don't get to stand at the door and with one hand point Him in the direction away from you with your right hand, while at the same time, beckoning Him to you with your left.  God doesn't play that game.  

Those of us that "get it" need to brace ourselves and our houses and stifle the desire to say, "I told you so" when the proverbial poo does hit the fan.  And it will.  Should the LORD tarry, it's just a matter of time before it all comes flying back in our faces.  

Then who will America call?  Can't be God because you've chased Him out, and the Ghostbusters are too old and one has died.  America, you're on your own.

Recharging a very, very tired battery

I am a very compulsive person.  Somewhere along the line of me becoming me, I don't think anyone checked the "self-control" or "she's had enough" gene mix.  I literally lack the component that says "enough is enough" and will do something until I am a burned out wreck of a human being, overloaded, saturated, burned out.  Whether it's a chemical ingested, a habit, or a behavior, I go until I can go no more and then I spend time recuperating and refilling myself.  The older I get, the more I find myself needing quiet time to rebalance and correct my head and heart.  The older I get, the less I can saturate myself with news of the world and drama queens, people that turn any situation into a panty-bunching, hand-wringing episode of idiocy. 

When I first met my ex-mother-in-law way back in 1986, she walked in the front door of her house after she got off work.  It was September and the sun set about 6:30-7:00 at night by that time.  She was home from work by 5:15.  She entered the front door, shut and locked it, and then went around the living room and drew all the blinds closed, while it was still fairly sunny outside.  I looked quizically at her and she said, "When I come home from work, I want nothing to do with the world or anyone in it, this is my time and my space and my family time."  I thought she was nuts.

Until I became the age that she was at that time. 

When I'm home, the doors are shut and locked, unless it's a nice day, the windows are shut, nighttime comes and the world is shut out by the blinds, and I am completely and fully happy shutting out the world and everyone in it.  I want nothing from the outside or the world making its way inside and when I get to where I'm at today, I don't even want the news on.  I sure as hell don't want to hear the voice of the White House squatter.  It is an unspoken rule in our house:  The television is muted before one word comes out of his mouth. 

World overload sneaks up on me.  It's not something I'm truly conscious of, I just know that all of a sudden, it's very clear to me that I've had enough and I can't get away from the world fast enough.  I'm worn out.  Add to that worldly exhaustion a husband that needs seemingly constant medical attention, a nearly 10 year old with the normal 10 year old angst and heavily immersed in puberty, and a business that can suck the very life out of me, and I hit a wall head-on, very hard and very fast.  I am not unusual or exceptional or extra-special.  I'm just me.  A woman of 49 that is tired.  I realize the world isn't going to give me a break so I do what I have to and take the break myself. 

Facebook is a contradiction of itself.  Social media is supposed to make us more "social" yet Facebook can be one of the most isolating phenomena I've ever seen.  For something so "social", people isolate themselves by sitting in their houses "chatting" with "friends", most of whom they've never met, as is the case with me.  Having these "friends" has been a blessing because I've met many believers and like-minded people through Facebook, while at the same time, I've been shunned, unfriended, and cut-off by people I've known since fifth grade because, even though they've known my outspokenness since childhood, I'm suddenly not worth "knowing" as friend on Facebook, yet if they see me in town they will act as though I'm a long-lost buddy.  It's ludicrous and much of the time, comical.  I'd MUCH rather they just completely ignore me if that's going to be the case, and thankfully, many do comply.  In some ways, a person's true colors come out through their words and some actually save you the time it would take to find out they're not really worth having in your life after all. 

I've seen people use Facebook to go on rants about family, completely upsetting the apple cart and destroying relationships.  Such as the case with my husband's daughter.  Her husband posted a ridiculous rant about a family member, without pointing out WHICH family member the rant was about.  We responded thinking it was about us, and because of all of that, and I'm sure many more things, doors were shut and we no longer communicate with them, much to our relief. God has a most wonderful way of separating the wheat from the chaff.

So, I'm spending this down time catching up on rest, cleaning out, tossing out, organizing, restructuring, my annual purge.  I relish the fact that there are drawers in this house that are completely empty because I don't feel the need to keep anything past its usefulness.  Unlike my mother, who keeps everything to the point someone will need a front loader when she dies and the house is cleaned out, and since I'm persona non grata in that house, it won't be me, thank the LORD, I don't have to worry about it.  I keep what is necessary or important to us and get rid of the rest.  Most importantly, I'm ridding myself of the black cloud of overload and over-information and over-stress by shutting out social media for a while and the news.  

My favorite saying has become "with age comes wisdom".  Such true words, but the biggest gift of wisdom is the realization that although I may not have been born with the gene that allows me the self-control to not over-indulge, I now recognize the signs when I've done that and I realize how valuable the power that I possess is that I can just shut the world out with the flick of a switch or the click of the mouse. t Log out of Facebook, click off Fox News, shut out the world, and find my little island of peace in a world of chaos.

Tired

From time to time, I pull in feelers from the world and shut that world out, needing peace and quiet while I think over life issues.  Hello to that time, I'm back.  I'm tired of social media and all the stupidity that goes along with it.  Taking a break refreshes the soul and reminds you that there is a silent partner you take for granted, God.  He will never leave you nor forsake you, as He tells you in the scriptures, but He can go dark (silent) sometimes while He waits for you to turn your face away from yourself and the world and turn back to Him.  Then there are times when He gets tired of waiting and just stands in front of you and SMACK! you run right into Him and He says, "Now that I have your attention, let's talk."  I've had SMACK! more times than I care to remember and this time I turned to Him without having to walk into Him.

There are also times when I have to just tune the world out from all the murders, attacks, nations fighting nation.  Having done through the murder of a loved on, that changed me forever.  I don't have the absorption I used to, taking in news story after news story and not letting it bother me.  I know the world is ugly and dark and I can do nothing to change that, this side of heaven.  But I CAN turn if off from my senses for a while and focus on my family.  I am doing just that.  Alison has given and given and given.  Yesterday, thanks to her sister, we were able to enjoy the first day of a two month summer pass at Kroc Center and as we walked down the steps into the pool, I saw that young lady light up like she hasn't in a long time--she was in water again, she was at home.  Happy, throwing herself around in the water, standing under the tipping cups of water, in and out of the water, up the stairs to the water slide, she made a new friend, a boy named Chris, and they played in the water and had a great time.  Even I attempted the water slide and I assure you, a grown woman sliding down three stories of water slide and shooting into a pool of water--quite a sight to see but it was soooooo fun!  I hit the water at the bottom and became disoriented for a second but once I surfaced, victorious!  Many more days will be spent there until our pass runs out and hopefully by then the scholarship I applied for will be approved and we can keep going. 

Mike has to make a hard decision about his leg.  We have a man to talk to about orthotics and that will help formulate his decision.  He's in so much pain right now.  No quality of life whatsoever.  This was not the way we expected things to turn out, but you can't anticipate the way things have happened. 

Lord, I'm tired.  Bone tired, worn out, peace is hard to come by.  I need YOU.  I need to wrap myself in the folds of Your robe and never come out.  Right now, You are my life ring and all I have.  Maranatha, Father.  Maranatha.

A House Divided Cannot Stand

http://news.yahoo.com/u-needs-immigrant-children-official-175713681.html

This is yet another situation that is deeply dividing our country. Remember, a house divided cannot stand. Every single thing that is going on in our country you have to view through the eyes of conservative/progressive, right/wrong. You HAVE to remove the emotion from your thought process or you will fall right into the trap this administration has set up.

George Soros is a man that has funded every single thing that has happened in this country since Obama took office. One of his political groups is one that fights for open borders. He's a communist, a progressive, a self-hating Jew that turned in his own fellow Jews during World War II if they possessed anything of value such as land or money. He has collapsed the financial systems of four countries in his lifetime, and the cherry on his evil sundae would be collapsing the financial structure and system of the United States. It appears he's well on his way to accomplishing this through Cloward & Piven. Overload the welfare system and government programs with as many people as you can until the system collapses and people have no choice but to rely on goverment for everything. Hello communism.

You cannot have the One World Order (which is very real and very much coming together very quickly) if you have borders. Removing American excellence and achievement and the borders that keep the world out of our country is key to achieving that. However, the American people are vigilant about watching illegal adults crossing those borders and we have no problem whatsoever about demanding that they be deported once caught. What the Obama administration has done exceeds creepy and evil.

They've made the focus the children. They are sending in children to the work that adults wouldn't get away with here.

By encouraging South American countries to send their children up here, now you have a whole different ball game. What American wants to look bad in the eyes of his or her fellow American by protesting taking care of these poor children that have walked for days or weeks (more realistically they were bussed to within a few miles of the border and told to walk until they cross the dotted line) and have been dumped here with no mommy or daddy and they're in need of care and shelter so we MUST put aside all complaining and take care of the children. Do I feel sorry for these kids? Absolutely. I feel sorry for them because they are unwitting pawns being used by politicians and world leaders. But it is disgusting and despicable for any government to use CHILDREN to further their political advancement by appealing to our emotions (as liberals and progressives are so good at it) by making us feel like hideous turds for demanding that these kids be sent back home. These children come from countries that have diseases we have fought so hard to eradicate in our own country. They bring filth, lice, scabies, intestinal bugs, diseases--problems we have under control here through years of vigilance, cleanliness, innoculations, and research.

We have poverty levels in this country right now that haven't been seen in decades since the Great Depression. We have more Americans on the government rolls for food and shelter than ever before. We have a generation of vets that are living in the streets after they fought in foreign countries to protect our rights as American citizens. We have vets dying because our own Veterans' Administration is so rife with chaos and corruption that brave men and women that served our country proudly are dying on gurneys and in hospital beds because the red tape and ignorance are so thick that dying is sometimes the ONLY way out for these dear men and women. And then some politician says we need to "do right" by these kids?

As a mom and as an American, dear Mr. or Ms. Politician, you can kindly shove your guilt trip up your ass, if you can find room alongside your head that's already buried deep up there. My father, all three uncles, ex husband, husband, daughter, and son-in-law and countless friends and honorary sons and daughters of mine served this country proudly and are FAR more deserving of being taken care of than these poor kids that you're using as political pawns in a chess game that spans the world.

As Americans, square your shoulders, set your jaw, stand tall, quit worrying about political correctness and the worry that you might offend someone and protect our country from being overrun with diseases and chaos that exists already in the countries these kids traveled from. Let your elected officials know in no uncertain terms that the political equivalent of sticking out your quivering lower lip and sad eyes is pathetic to use against a country of people that were BORN Americans but are facing having EVERYTHING stripped away in the name of global governance.

Conservative v. Liberal

Conservative v. Liberal

Conservatives see possibility.  Liberals see limitations.

Conservatives see opportunities.  Liberals see more work than they want to take on.

Conservatives see logic.  Liberals can't see through a cloud of emotion. 

Conservatives see potential.  Liberals see problems.

A conservative is at point A and wants to get to point B.  Begin walking.  Even if there are mountains and oceans between you and what you want, begin walking.  You will eventually end up at your desired destination and sometimes, another hill arises in your walk that takes you to an even BETTER place than the destination you wanted to go in the first place.

A liberal is at point A and wants to get to get to point B.  Sit down and cry about having the disadvantage of your sex, your race, your sexual orientation, your humble beginnings, your lack of opportunity and wait until someone picks you up and carries you to point B.  Unfortunately, you may be waiting a very, very long time and in that time, you'll be watching your conservative counterpart arriving at his destination years before you will.  Sucks to be you.

Conservatives see someone in a high position in a company and decide they want a high position in a company so they either go to college to get the training and education they will need and are willing to start out in the mail room and work their way up.  OR, they begin their own company and surround themselves with people willing to work as hard as they are willing to work, and as they rise, they bring others up with them.  Success is more fun when shared with people that stood behind you all the way to the top.

Liberals see someone in a high position and whine that it's not far someone is in a higher position than they are.  They don't want to start out at minimum wage, they think they should be paid a living wage no matter how hard they do or don't work.  Life isn't fair.  People aren't fair.  Circumstances aren't fair.  Beginnings aren't fair.  Being fair is a HUGE thing to liberals.  Everything has to be fair.  Level the playing field so everyone has the same, no one has  more than anyone else so no one feels badly about what they don't have. 

That's called socialism.

Conservatives see capitalism as a good thing.  Capitalism is business and commerce and using your brain and your talents to make money.  With a few exceptions, most business builders (not to be confused with a business owner.  Anyone can OWN a business if you fill out the right forms to file with the state.  A BUSINESS BUILDER is someone not content to merely be called the owner of a business, but is willing to invest every cell of their being into their business to and be accountable for all that happens, good or bad.) are conservatives.  They had an idea or saw an opportunity, knew they could do it.  They rolled up their sleeves and jumped in feet first, making sacrifices along the way. 

My uncle and aunt are BUSINESS BUILDERS.  They had a dream and they worked night and day for years.  They made money and they lost money but they took responsibility for everything, good and bad, and embraced the opportunities as they came.  My mother watched them with scorn for all the years my father worked for my uncle and complained that they went on trips to Hawaii and vacations as a family, complained that they had things she and my dad didn't have.  My aunt and uncle were willing to work hard and take risks.  My mother has spent her entire life living in fear of failing was content working for someone else for much less money but complained and whined about not having anything.  Conservative v. liberal.  Whining is huge.

Liberals see capitalism and commerce as something bad.  Something that needs apologizing for throughout the world.  Remarkably, though, some liberals make buttloads of money (read:  Michael Moore and his franchises of documentaries.  The man is worth MILLIONS yet decries the disgust of capitalism and the successes of the very country that allowed him to be successful.  Liberals can be quite confusing and many times, I don't even know if THEY know how ridiculous they are to the rest of us.) and do everything they can to apologize for it.  Who apologizes for making money?  Liberals.  They placate their guilt by spearheading what they call philanthropy, donating tons of money to causes usually outside our country, like saving the Amazon rain forests so they're more palatable in the eyes of other liberals that watch them closely to see what they do with their excesses.  They must feel good about themselves at all costs.  Guilt is a common ingredient in the lives of liberals.

Conservatives see our education system as broken, flawed, indoctrinating, lacking, failing.  Conservatives see early childhood as the place to begin teaching your child the basics of reading, language, morals.  Mom and dad are the first teachers of children, and those early years are full of character lessons and learning respect for your peers.  Homeschooling has picked up steam exponentially over the years because parents are seeing how keeping a close eye on what goes into your child's mind actually feeds them and teaches them something.  Conservatives understand that the three R's and moral and character building are infinitely more beneficial to their child than reading about Heather's Two Mommies and Penelope's Trip to Planned Parenthood. 

Liberals see our education system as an opportunity to indoctrinate children to think like failures. Liberals see early childhood as a time to put kids into Head Start and separate them from mommy and daddy so they can have their minds molded into thinking like little liberals, little victims. Everyone gets a participation trophy, there are no winners or losers.  The L word:  Loser.  Losing is good.  It teaches you to try harder next time.  Liberals can't have losers because they don't want you to try harder than anyone else and be better than anyone else.  Level playing field, remember?  Teach them that if all else fails, you can sign up for food stamps and welfare and let the system take care of you, cradle to grave.  Liberals see our public education system as a way to build voting rolls for the Democratic party. 

Unless you have considerable inner strength and can get through college actually learning to think and earn a useful degree like Criminal Psychology (proud to say my daughter is pursuing that degree beautifully), about the only thing our colleges are turning out are anti-war protestors and names on the unemployment and food stamp rolls.  Four year degrees are a springboard to heading out into the world to build an empire and make a good life for yourself and your family, not majoring in Underwater Lesbian Basket Weaving or the Elizabethan Languages so you can spend mommy and daddy's hard-earned money spent on your college tuition protesting the mysterious 1% and taking dumps on cop cars in major cities across the country, protesting while wearing Nike hats, Columbia Sportswear sweatshirts, planning protests on your Apple iPad, and connecting with your fellow protestors on your Apple iPhones.  Protest the corporations while wearing everything and using everything from the corporations. 

Did I say hypocrisy is a benchmark of liberalism?  There.  I just did.

Conservatives want the borders closed YESTERDAY.  My maternal grandfather immigrated to this country from Ireland early in the last century.  He came in through legal channels, having a sponsor, learning the language, filing all the appropriate paperwork, becoming an American citizen.  He built a successful life for himself.  Conservatives don't have a problem with LEGAL immigration.  But pour over the borders illegally and bring your diseases and pestilences and crime and ignorance with you and we will have a HUGE problem with that.  My mother, a liberal, looks emotionally at this.  The Mexicans "belong here.  They have every right to our happiness."  Bzzzt.  Wrong answer.  Come through the proper legal channels, show us you want to abide by our rules and work hard to be an AMERICAN, you're welcome.  Any other way is unacceptable to a conservative. 

Liberals like open borders.  Eliminating the excellence and high standards of America is key to them.  Apologize to the world and level the playing field, don't let our country be greater than any other country.  You don't see Americans piling on rafts to Cuba, do you?  America is excellent for a reason.  Read the Constitution and see why.  Our freedoms create success.  To liberals, you can't be a success because no one can achieve anything more than anyone else because they don't want you to feel bad about failing.  Liberal think is a dog chasing its tail.  Eventually the dog gets dizzy and sick and pukes and there you have a liberal trainwreck:  Confusion and vomit.  And you can't have anyone cleaning up the vomit because it may make someone feel bad about themselves that they're the one that has to clean up vomit. 

Conservatives celebrate our country's early years and the men that led us here.  Conservatives celebrate the courage and strength it took to come to a strange land, suffer and die for a cause called freedom and opportunity.  Were it not for them we'd all have bad teeth and still be having tea and crumpets at 4:00 every afternoon instead of knocking back a beer and a hotdog at a ball park and hearing the crack of the bat against a ball, standing with hats over hearts and singing the Star Spangled Banner at the beginning of sporting events.

Liberals decry the selfishness of our founding fathers for wanting to leave England to come over and take this country from the native Indians, most of which weren't "native" to this place at all, but they themselves actually migrated here like we did.  Liberals feel the need to apologize to everyone for everything, resulting in scores and scores of blacks demanding apologies and recompense for slavery, something not ONE of them actually had to endure.  But we apologize to them anyway, burying the fact that that the very first slave owner was ACTUALLY a black man.  Yeah, that isn't taught in schools.  They only hear that crackers want to keep the black man down and that's enough gas to pour on their indignant fire do they can riot and overturn cars in the name of equality.

The BEST comparison of conservatives and liberals I ever heard was this:

You're out in the ocean in a boat.  The boat sinks.  A conservative rows a boat out to within 30 feet from you, tosses you a life ring, and expects you to swim to it, grab the ring, and swim the rest of the way back to shore.

A liberal rows out to you while you're floating in the water.  Another liberal jumps in the water, swims to you, has you jump on their back, grabs a rope tied to the boat, and they're both towed back to shore.

Which one are you?  Conservative or liberal?  Figure it out and you will know without any doubt just how far you will go in life.