The Boy King (in his dreams)

I shit you not. 

Now, if we are to believe this, one night, a young Stanley Ann Dunham was visited by an angel of the Lord and he said, "Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women! Do not be afraid, Stanley Ann! And by the way, who do I have to strike down for giving you such a name? No matter, you have found favor with God! And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a son, and you shall call his name Barack, or Barry, or any number of names he will be known by, along with the Social Security Numbers for each name and the appropriate student records that won't amount to a hill of beans. And the Lord will give him the throne of his father.....what's that? His father doesn't have a throne, but a tin shack in Kenya? No, no, that won't do. He will be given the Oval Office of the White House--what's that? No, I'm not being racist. I'm an angel of the Lord. It's been called the White House for many, many presidents, my dear Stanley Ann. No racial pun intended. I'm sorry? No, we can't call it the Black House, or the House of Kenya, or the House of Pancakes, or the House of the Hawaiian Lie, or......woman, can you just shut up? I'm giving you this boy king to birth and raise and we're arguing over colors swatches. Now, let's see, oh, yes! What's that? How can this be as you don't know the father? Honey, no one does. But anyway, boom! There, now you're with child. He will assume the office of the President, some would say he will STEAL the office, but again, let's not argue details. And he will lead people to the food stamp offices, and he will touch the lives of many as they lose their jobs and he will try to recreate the poverty of Kenya from that White House--yes, I know, the race thing bugs you. Seriously, Stanley Ann, now I'm starting to understand why you were given such a name, you really are quite a pain in the rear with all these questions. Here, take the boy king and watch him lead! Lead where? Well, you know the saying, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"......yes, that's the road he'll take them down........for the love of all that is holy, I cannot rename it The Black House......."

And that's how this magazine cover came to be. Curtsy.