You have the right to remain silent

Sunday, January 26, 2014:

Today our pastor shared with us that our church, Salem Evangelical Church, has partnered with One Mission Society (OMS) to plant churches in the 10/40 Window area of the world. That’s 10 degrees north of the equator to 40 degrees and covering the western edge of Africa to the eastern edge of Asia. About 20 years ago this “10/40 Window” gained a lot of coverage as ministries discovered that this is a heavily populated Muslim/Hindu/Buddhist section of the world where Christianity is not even considered to be uttered. It is also an area of suffocating poverty, war, disease, and heartache for those that live there. 

I am so proud of our “little” church. It’s large but has a “small church” feel to it. Fiscally, it is amazing. A few years ago the church set out to build a three story wing to the church for the childrens’ ministries and classrooms, commercial grade kitchens, elevators, etc. A local bank took on the funding with a HANDSHAKE. Last January, SEC quietly paid the multi-million dollar note in FULL. Twenty-five years early. The banker said in all his years he’d never seen anything like that. Sow your seeds well and He meets your needs abundantly in ways you cannot imagine. There is a food box ministry a couple of times a month where SEC receives food from the Marion/Polk Food Bank to hand out to those in the neighborhood and community of SEC. Because SEC takes this food donation from the Food Bank, the workers are prohibited from sharing the gospel with those that receive the food boxes. When Pastor Randy realized that we, as a church body, could bring in food donations from the church body, two cans or boxes per family member, enough to meet the ever-growing needs of those receiving the boxes, and stack them in the corner of the front foyer of the church, the church could still have the food box ministry without accepting food from the Food Bank, thereby allowing the workers to share the gospel with the recipients. Now, once a month, when it’s communion Sunday, we are given enough advance notice, and the foyer fills with food to the overflowing. This is truly a church with hearts large enough to fill a stadium, yet with humility enough that, unless someone like me is writing about it, you won’t ever know the details because SEC prefers that you see God in the details, not SEC.

Today’s news about SEC teaming up with OMS to plant churches in the 10/40 Window area of the world was particularly sweet in light of the fact that we are getting to see what God laid on Randy’s heart many, many years ago finally come to life. Last year the wheels were set into motion for SEC to build its very first “plant church” in this 10/40 Window area and SEC gave the necessary funds (over $40K) to OMS in order to build a church/community building/shelter/school. Work began last fall and it’s due to open in early March. We saw a short video/photo montage showing local workers constructing this building. For very sick and sad reasons, particularly with this being a ministry that is literally being watched around the world via the Internet, he was unable to articulate as to exactly WHERE this is being built, what community or town or country or ANYTHING about the location of this particular site. He is unable to give specific information about the location because the workers would, no doubt, be attacked immediately, killed, and the building destroy. This side of heaven, we as a church body will never know the exact location of some of these plant churches for safety reasons. This partnering with OMS is both thrilling and horrifyingly scary at the same time. Sadly, this is the world we now live in.

As he’s telling us this, and as he turned the corner from discussing the partnership with OMS into commencing with his message for today, a man dressed in civilian clothes approached the podium where Randy was standing behind the microphone and began arresting our pastor. Quietly, he cuffed one hand, then the other as he’s reciting Randy’s Miranda Rights. SEC is the church home for a LOT of police and members of various sheriffs’ departments and obviously, anyone wanting to enter the church and cause any bodily harm to our pastor or anyone else freely worshipping the LORD is going to be the victim of a pig pile (no snark intended) with a lot of people that carry. The fact that no one bounded out of their seat and tried to take out this man told me that this was staged, just sit tight and watch what’s about to happen. Randy was cuffed and continued speaking for quite a few minutes with his hands behind his back. He was making a very stark point. I will get to that point in a minute.

I’ve been purposely stepping back from constantly being here posting things that have become less and less meaningful to me. I am trying to spend my precious time doing things other than spending every waking minute of my life on Facebook. I’m am highly addictive to many things and Facebook was just one more thing in the arsenal of objects that seek to suck the life out of me and steal my precious time. Like many people, I got emotionally involved in last year’s presidential election and became quite vocal in my opposition to him (I have trouble even saying his name). It’s taken time to see the truth, but the problems plaguing our nation are no longer Republican v. Democrat, liberal v. conservative, progressive v. conservative. At its most basic core, we are in a battle now, not between two political parties, but a battle for light v. darkness, good v. bad, righteousness v. evil. A person’s political affiliation no longer means anything. Your spiritual affiliation means everything. As scriptures foretold, we are coming down to a boiling point between followers of Christ v. the rest of the world. Believers—we have read the book. We know how the story ends, and it doesn’t end well for the enemy and his followers, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try to take out as many as they can along the way to their eventual demise. The sad truth is, however, they don’t agree that they are the ones who will meet their demise. It is US, the believers, that will meet their demise, with evil standing on our graves laughing. Funny thing, I haven’t seen a book that outlines that belief. I have seen the book that outlines the shoe being on the other foot.

At some point over the last several months, I’ve lost my desire to post photo after photo after meme after snarky comment about the president and his administration. It serves no purpose, really, other than for a giggle, and honestly, such evil isn’t funny, and we are truly dealing with evil here. I’ve felt more of a leading to share life stories and stories such as the one I’ve shared here today about our church. Me posting one more photo of anything political isn’t going to change the political landscape of our country and calling anyone in this administration a name and getting my panties in a wad over one more right being stripped away isn’t going to change a thing in the grand scheme of life. Sharing God’s truth, sharing the gospel message, praying for someone, asking for prayers for someone, encouraging the living of a righteous life, encouraging young women in their marriages, encouraging young women to live godly lives and developing a servant’s heart for their husbands, sharing things that draw people closer to the LORD, THAT is what’s important. Politics won’t change until hearts change and considering where we are at on the prophetic timeline of scripture, changing hearts on THAT large a scale isn’t going to happen any time soon. I used to be deathly afraid of saying a word about the gospel to anyone. Now, if you give me five minutes of a conversation you can bet at some point I’m bringing up the name of Jesus and if you stand still long enough I’m going to tell you about how He saved me through Calvary’s cross and you will hear about God’s healing mercies through a story about Mike’s battle with nec/fac. I no longer care who “unfriends” me or thinks I’m offensive. It’s not about me. It’s about Him. God is giving me peace about bravely sharing Him with those I meet and making every minute count. Standing up for light in a dark world is important to me. Funny memes and jokes are ok, but sharing my heart and God’s love—that’s what really matters now. 

So, we sat and watched as our pastor was cuffed and read his Miranda Rights. His point was this: We are living at a time in this world where people are being killed for standing up for Christ. We are living at a time in this world where we cannot freely share something as happy as a church being built in a Muslim stronghold without facing almost sure obliteration and destruction if the name of Christ is uttered. He was unable to tell us where this new church plant for SEC really is because the cloak of evil and darkness in that area is such that satan would have it and anyone involved in building it destroyed in no time at all. Pastors in our country still can preach about the cross and salvation but it’s quickly coming to a point in the probably very near future that any pastor that has the guts to stand up in front of a congregation and read from God’s word about the “abomination” in God’s eyes of men lusting after men and women exchanging their natural affections from men to other women, that pastor may find himself cuffed and read his Miranda Rights and lead away from the church, maybe to be seen again, maybe not. Sound melodramatic? Give it time. Pastors are already finding their tools confiscated as they’re arrested for standing on a street corner and preaching. It won’t be too awfully much longer before Gestapo-like groups burst through church doors, in front of shocked congregations, and drag pastors off for preaching that the ONLY way to God is through Jesus Christ. Living in this country, with the precious freedoms and rights we have enjoyed as Americans, we are fairly insulated from much of what the rest of the world has had to endure when it comes to persecution of the church. None of us can wrap our mind around watching our pastor being arrested and led away, perhaps executed, because he stood up for Christ. We see a church in Africa surprise-invaded by Muslims with the congregation being beheaded and the church burned to the ground and we feel badly for those that died, but that’s in Africa. We Americans can’t wrap our minds around that happening in Indiana or Iowa or Idaho. Give it time. What we witnessed today was something that fell way short of the horror of what many people in the world endure in the name of God and His Kingdom. Randy’s heart was in the right place, he was trying to prove a point, but this was our mild-mannered pastor being cuffed quietly and he was able to continue speaking. 

The world has changed and it continues to change, QUICKLY. Darkness does not like light being shone into it because the evil in that darkness cannot hide from the light. The time is coming quickly when we will all have to do a gut-check to find out how strong each of us truly is when it comes to standing up to that darkness. When it comes to the Kingdom, just how far are you willing to go to stand up to the coming darkness and stand for Christ? As quickly as things are turning, it may not be much longer before we ALL have to answer that question.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.....

I have earned my MBA in life over the last four years and thank the Lord for the wisdom we gain as we grow older, but if the last four years have taught me anything it is to remember this one particular phrase:  "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the LORD."   Job 1:21.  Job was a man of great faith and dignity and his words have bouyed me during the darkest of hours when it seemed that everything was falling down around us and Mike's life hung in the balance.  No matter how hard things appeared to us, we didn't know loss like Job knew loss and if HE was able to praise the Lord, what was my excuse?  I knew by those words that despite whatever He gave us or whatever He took from us, I absolutely HAD to praise the name of the LORD because no matter what we have or don't have, He is still God and He still loves us and ultimately, He gave us His son to take these soiled rags of sin to Calvary's cross so I could live eternally with peace in Heaven.  Blessed be the name of the LORD, indeed.


This year has dawned with much more of a feeling of peace than years' past.  The sun seems to shine brighter (when it decides to step out from behind the fog) and every day seems to bring a new rejoice and and praise on our lips.  Today, Mike and I hung (or I should say MIKE hung, I was more of the cheerleader with the drill) some cabinets that his friend Shawn Raines gave him for the garage in exchange for Ali's play structure that was in our backyard.  This was no easy feat and despite sitting down periodically to regain his strength, he did a beautiful job of hanging the cabinets and reveled in my praise and  compliments.  I LOVE these little nuggets of accomplishment that are appearing more and more frequently.  From death's door to a victory of hanging a cabinet in the garage, God has been giving us such peace as Mike gains strength daily and he declared today a huge day in his pursuit of reclaiming his life that's been on what seems like interminable hold.  


I am reminded often during the day how very fragile men truly are.  Their hearts are tender and they thrive on words of praise and compliments.  That has been a hard, and sometimes painful, lesson I've had to learn over the past 13 years and a lesson that is at the core of my need to right wrongs from the past and humbly ask forgiveness from some that were once in my life.  Our tongues truly hold the power to lift up or tear down.  It is a lesson I'm still learning and even today had to face, but His mercies are new every morning, and so are our chances for forgiveness.  


I am filled to the overflowing with love for a man that is trying so hard to stand tall and strong again, to see him working so hard to resume the role of "hunter/gatherer" that every man assumes as head of the house.  I am filled to the overflowing with love for two girls that are so different yet so much alike and both so beautiful and loved by their mom that they could never fully comprehend such love no matter how hard I try to explain.  I am filled to the overflowing with love for a God that delights in teaching us to live a holy and love-filled life, a God that freely gave us His beloved Son, Jesus, that whosoever believeth in Him would not perish but have everlasting life.  Blessed be the name of the LORD, indeed. 

Perspective

A few months ago I wrote about watching an episode of The John Ankerberg Show and his interview with Joni Erickson Tada and her husband, Ken Tada, about the early years of their marriage. Ken shared how unprepared he really was, marrying a quadraplegic and how the first year of marriage with waking up every 2 hours to turn his wife took a physical and mental toll on him and threatened their marriage when he questioned whether he was truly up for this challenge. Their collective response to how they dealt with it was perfect. After they got through the tears and faced the reality of their marriage, they realized that more than anything, they needed more of Jesus. It sounds simple, really, but when you are in the middle of being up to your eyeballs with medical issues with a spouse, it's much harder than it sounds.

Mike's recovery from the last surgery has been rougher than one would think for a normal knee scoping. After he was put under they saw his apnea was not going to cooperate so he was intubated. The anesthesiologist wasn't kind about it either, and the tube scratched all the way down his trachea. It's been past tender and well on its way to downright agonizing at times. The chemicals used didn't mix well and he had splitting head pain over his left eye and it appeared to have wreaked havoc with his right eye as well. Then, the cherry on the sundae was the antibiotic they gave him prior to surgery. The man has been loaded with antibiotics since the first day of this journey with nec/fac, and at one point was put on a mouth rinse for thrush. He's battled, unsuccessfully, multiple yeast infections. Ten-12 weeks of daily IV antibiotics drips and simultaneous oral antibiotics, I can't remember how many times, over 17 months, have taken their toll on his body.

Men, when they get sick, are like two years olds six hours past nap time in full crappy diapers. Cranky is something to aspire to. Most of the time they're surly, ill-tempered, and just downright awful to be around. At least that's Mike. No matter how hard we try, it's always SOMETHING that crops up and impedes his path to getting well and when he's had enough, and he's six hours past nap time and his diaper runneth over, it can be UGLY.

 

I was at my wit's end as I called the doctor and the call back sent us to Urgent Care because the doctor didn't like that it appeared to be in his eyes now. So, off we went to Urgent Care to rack up another $160 on the never-ending doctor bill that I try to whittle down each month with paltry payments. 

Yes, you do have a yeast infection, yes, you do need medicine, yes, you do have an excellent grasp on your diabetes and all the problems that come with it, I'll send your prescription to the pharmacy and we will get this under control. He's relieved and just like a little child, "Can we just not go home since it's so beautiful--can I get something to drink?" That's Mike-speak for, "I'd like a Route 44 Diet Cranberry Lime-Ade at Sonic. Can we?" So, off we go. 

I dropped him off at the house and went to get the medicine. They known me VERY, VERY well at the pharmacy. All it takes is a certain look from me and they reveal the cost of the medicine very, very, gently. 

"Um, hon, it's $66.67." For ten freaking pills.

I paid for them and drove off. As I'm waiting for the traffic to thin out so I can get out on River Road, I tell myself, "It's not worth getting upset. He needs the medicine, God ALWAYS provides. He's not ONCE not been there. Your bills are getting paid. You still have a roof over your head, food isn't an issue. Getting upset isn't going to help one bit, you know it, so suck it up, and be thankful he's still ALIVE to piss you off from time to time. You're not making funeral arrangements to bury him, you're not sitting in a waiting room while they take a leg off from diabetes, you're not having to weigh your options about which medicine you can and can't get. He's alive. You have love and support and friends and family and he's ALIVE. Abandon this mindset right now and get on with life."

So, that's what was done. The little voice that encourages me on a daily basis had the megaphone out and was yelling at me to get across the finish line for the day, get home, feed the family, get the medicine in your husband, and give him reason to believe that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. 

And it shall.

Life from the view of my knees

I can honestly say this is the first year in a long, long time where I've felt such peace starting out. Instead of beginning January 1 putting my head down with my nose to the grindstone and yelling, "GO!", I have taken a deep breath each day, savored the time, stood back and looked at the big picture, cleared out the annoying and peace-robbing clutter and busyness in life that robs me of savoring my days, and SMILED. I've belly laughed at my husband's jokes, hugged the kiddo, petted the animals and played with them, created some beautiful work for my brides and grooms this year (cannot WAIT to reveal what God has allowed my hands to create!), told my Katherine I don't know how many times how much I love her (and I DOOOOOO endlessly), and praised God for the blessings too bountiful and many to count. I open my Bible with more of an appreciation for the love He has for me, a love so deep that I no longer look at the Bible as an instruction manual, but rather a book of love letters He wrote to each of us. God's love for us is so deeply ingrained in the scriptures if only we take the time to read through the eyes he wants us to read those words with.


A friend of mine once told me, "You're so used to living in "crisis mode" you don't know how to live otherwise." True, but this last year was a life lesson in trusting God and allowing myself the peace to fully put into action those lessons and allow into our lives the faith in Him and His provision and His care that He freely gives to us if only we are willing to let Him teach us. Sometimes those lessons are quick and painless, or for the "stiff-necked" and proud, like we were, they are long and sometimes quite painful. After 17 months of seeing miracle after miracle after display of His love and provision, I have learned to just let the grip go on fear and worry. Fear and worry are you telling Him, "I don't trust that you'll take care of me the way I want." Letting go of that is telling him, "I know that you will take care of me in ways I never could dream of and I trust that YOU know best for me." When you loosen that grip and stand back in trust, He blows you away with his blessing and only then can you fully appreciate His love for you.



I know this world is getting darker with each day, but from my knees, all I can see is Light.