We filled that space with Jesus

John Ankerberg is a pastor that Mike watches, along with many others, and he's had a terrific series on lately with Michael Easley, head of Moody Bible Institute, who suffered a life-threatening illness, and Joni Eareckson Tada and her 47 years in a wheel chair as a quadraplegic and now breast cancer survivor. On last night's show the spouses of Dr. Easley and Joni began THEIR interviews as caregivers and I didn't realize how much work it is to be a caregiver until I heard Ken Tada speak about marrying a quadraplegic. I thought MY caregiving for Mike was intense, and it was and at times, still is, but to be a newlywed and waking every two hours to get out of bed and turn your wife in bed so she isn't in pain and doesn't get pressure sores--unbelievable. He was a high school teacher and coach at the time and those of you who have gone through life with newborns can relate to the staggering exhaustion you feel being awakened every two hours to take care of a helpless little human.

A while back I learned that the body's "sleep" chemical, melatonin, is manufactured by your body to help you get drowsy and sleep. As long as the lights are off in your room, or whatever room you're in, you won't have much trouble falling back asleep because your body keeps producing melatonin. Turn on the light, however, and your body almost immediately ceases the melatonin production. That's why you don't fall asleep quickly after you have turned on the lights in the middle of the night. Here's Ken Tada, a newlywed, getting up every 2-3 hours a night, turning on the light, moving his wife around, stacking cushions and pillows to make her comfortable, then wake up and go to work. EXHAUSTING! After a year, they were stressed, arguing, drifting apart.

It's so easy to do that. Honestly, there have been days when I could have easily said, "Know what? You're on your own! I'm going for a mani-pedi, wanna go shopping, have a giggle with the girls--I just don't feel like taking care of you today!" It's a CHOICE. I took vows and made a commitment to this man to love, honor, and cherish him through better and worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poor, till death do us part. You're there for the good times, the ugly times, the heartache, the laughter, the victories, and the defeats. I've had to do things to help him out in ways most women NEVER ever have to even think of. You don't realize how much your body is tied together with ligaments and tendons and muscles until you cannot turn and take care of a basic human need. When you cannot move your body the way you're used to, it's time to ask for help. The trust it took him to ask me for that help was enormous. How can I dare even think of humiliating him when he's asking me to help him with a simple task when I could so easily crush him with a smirk or a word? I have taken that trust and treasured it.

Now, this doesn't make me Mother Theresa. Little secret: I can be a roiling bitch when the mood strikes, and my job is to take that to Him and say, "Hey, Father, I can't handle this and I will really wreak destruction with my words, here, you take this attitude of mine and don't let it near me. Oh, and while you're at it, stand on my tongue so I can only say things that edify and build him up, comfort and reassure him, not words that will shred him and his trust in me." God takes these requests very seriously. He's never let me down.

Watching and listening to this show last evening, and hearing Ken Tada speak--whoa--you mean THAT'S a normal feeling? I can so relate! Hearing a man charged with taking care of his wife go, "Know what? I was ready to throw in the towel! I was exhausted and felt like I was letting her down because I was just ready to quit."--that's powerful. But even more powerful was this:

What was their solution?

"We got closer than ever and went to Jesus. We laid it all out before him, the exhaustion, the pain, the worry, the thoughts of wanting to quit--we DIDN'T quit. We just filled that space between us with Jesus and He was the glue that held it all together."

And it was THAT simple. What a help it was to hear this man share his story and to hear this beautiful couple say, honestly, "We filled that space with Jesus."

Perfect.