I can honestly say this is the first year in a long, long time where
I've felt such peace starting out. Instead of beginning January 1
putting my head down with my nose to the grindstone and yelling, "GO!", I
have taken a deep breath each day, savored the time, stood back and
looked at the big picture, cleared out the annoying and peace-robbing
clutter and busyness in life that robs me of savoring my days, and
SMILED. I've belly laughed at my husband's jokes, hugged the kiddo,
petted the animals and played with them, created some beautiful work
for my brides and grooms this year (cannot WAIT to reveal what God has
allowed my hands to create!), told my Katherine I don't know how many
times how much I love her (and I DOOOOOO endlessly), and praised God for
the blessings too bountiful and many to count. I open my Bible with
more of an appreciation for the love He has for me, a love so deep that I
no longer look at the Bible as an instruction manual, but rather a book
of love letters He wrote to each of us. God's love for us is so deeply
ingrained in the scriptures if only we take the time to read through
the eyes he wants us to read those words with.
A friend of mine
once told me, "You're so used to living in "crisis mode" you don't know
how to live otherwise." True, but this last year was a life lesson in
trusting God and allowing myself the peace to fully put into action
those lessons and allow into our lives the faith in Him and His
provision and His care that He freely gives to us if only we are willing
to let Him teach us. Sometimes those lessons are quick and painless,
or for the "stiff-necked" and proud, like we were, they are long and
sometimes quite painful. After 17 months of seeing miracle after
miracle after display of His love and provision, I have learned to just
let the grip go on fear and worry. Fear and worry are you telling Him,
"I don't trust that you'll take care of me the way I want." Letting go
of that is telling him, "I know that you will take care of me in ways I
never could dream of and I trust that YOU know best for me." When you
loosen that grip and stand back in trust, He blows you away with his
blessing and only then can you fully appreciate His love for you.
I know this world is getting darker with each day, but from my knees, all I can see is Light.
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